Since we were all feeling under the weather, my family decided to watch The Rookie, which my mom had taped from HBO. As we are all baseball fans, we looked forward to this family film that had gotten surprisingly good reviews. Unfortunately, this slow-moving flick featured one cliché after another, and we all wound up disappointed.

My mom said, "That movie sucked! But my friend Molly said it made her cry."

"It almost made me cry that I'd wasted my time," my dad replied.

Even though I am 22-years-old, I still get a little bit embarrassed by movie sex scenes if I am watching them with my parents. The Rookie is Rated G and has no violence, sex, or swearing, which I found rather refreshing.

Although I didn't cringe from any blood or passion, I felt a bit queasy from the extreme sappiness. Of course, I knew that The Rookie was going to be corny since it is a Disney movie, after all. I just wasn't prepared for how utterly conventional it would be. It took the son who desperately wants to please his icy father concept straight out of Field of Dreams, and its under-achieving team that miraculously improves to win a title against all odds can be found in any children's sports movie. Believe me: there is no suspense whatsoever.

The Rookie is based on the "true story" of Jim Morris, the oldest rookie in Major League History, who pitched in 21 games in 1999 and 2000 for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Morris, a left-handed pitcher, was drafted by another team when he was younger but was forced to retire after injuring his arm.

Since viewers know going in that Jim would make it to the Big Leagues because it's a true story, Disney has to focus on some other aspect of his life to keep the viewers' interest. They choose, of course, Jim's family life and his struggle to please his father. He also strives to balance his baseball dream with his devotion to his wife and children.

As a child, Jimmy Morris' family moved often, as his father (Brian Cox) was in the military. Like many children, Jim dreamed of being a Major League baseball player and narrated dramatic, bottom of the ninth situations in his room. His father, whom Jimmy called "Sir," ignored the boy, and Jimmy spent a lot of time alone. With no transition, Disney shows Jim as a grown-up. He is now a high school science teacher and baseball coach. Although he accomplishes an incredible feat of making the Majors as a 35-year-old and whipping his Bad News Bears-esqe team into shape, his character is nothing special. I'm sure that the real Jim Morris is a very interesting character, but Disney did very little to give him depth.

While the story of Jim Morris is inspiring, the movie version of the tale lacked heart. It seemed to go through the motions of being a film without engaging the viewer. It felt like a parody of an actual movie. There are very few moments of human interaction that are not interrupted by an intrusive soundtrack. Also, the film relied much too heavily on slow-motion and bland montage.

The screenplay, of course, is lacking, as well, and The Rookie features one of my biggest movie pet peeves: unrealistic dialog. Jim's adorable son Hunter asks his father at one point whether his arm is hurting.

"Why would you ask me that?" Jim asks his son, which I thought was interesting since I was thinking the same thing. The boy is far too perceptive, and his question was a blatant attempt at inserting background information. The conversation is very unnatural. Jim goes on to explain his arm injuries to Hunter (a six-year-old!) in a much too sophisticated way.

The father-son relationship (Jim and his father) that makes up the core of this film seemed a bit exaggerated. For Hunter's birthday, his grandfather (i.e. Jim's father) gives him a first baseman's mitt, thinking that it was a generic baseball glove. This detail is supposed to illustrate, through the father's ignorance of baseball, that he is extremely out of touch with his son. However, it left me thinking, "How could anyone not know what a baseball glove looks like?"

I thought Rachel Griffiths was mis-cast as Jim's wife. Although the Australian actress did a good job with the Southern American accent, she seemed too elegant and angular for the role. Also, I find it hard to see her as a motherly type after watching her as a psycho-nymphomaniac on Six Feet Under.

Finally, The Rookie is simply too long. The action shown onscreen is drawn out, repetitive, and unexciting.

Despite all my criticisms, I appreciated the message of The Rookie, and it doesn't surprise me that a lot of people enjoy it, especially children. After all, it's not a cliché if you've never heard it before.

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The title of this review is dedicated to my favorite Wisconsin Epinionator, millinocket .

Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: VHS