starcollector's Full Review: In the Zone by Britney Spears
Tracks:
Me Against the Music C-
(I Got That) Boom Boom D
Showdown F
Breathe On Me D
Early Mornin' D-
Toxic C
Outrageous F
Touch of My Hand D
The Hook-Up D-
Shadow C-
Brave New Girl C
Everytime C
Me Against the Music (Rischi Rich's Desi Kulcha Remix) D+
Album History
The whole point of Britney Spears is her image and not the actual music. If she was 40 years old and overweight and still sang the same music, she would have gone nowhere. Instead, she looks good without too much clothes on, so teenaged girls buy her albums and dads let them buy her posters. The music comes only second, and that's fairly obvious. There's not one song in here that's actually worth listening to. It's all over-produced to the point that there's no value in the songs, and the stark lack of melody makes them pale strongly in comparison to their godfathers and godmothers (ABBA). This is valueless music. Calling it music might even be giving far too much of a compliment.
Album Overview:
There really isn't anything good on this album. You just have to distinguish between the bad and the mediocre. There are four mediocre songs on here. "Toxic" is probably the highlight of the normal songs followed by "Brave New Girl." Both have melodies that work and instrumentation that isn't total crap. The best song is easily the "heartfelt" ballad "Everytime," but the only real reason for that was because the instrumentation was straightforward and not stupid for once. The melody isn't too good, but at least it's more or less listenable. Her well-publicized collaboration with Madonna for "Me Against the Music" isn't the worst thing I ever listened to, even though it was still rather misfired. The rest of the songs are all pretty much horrible. Seriously, go listen to some Eurythmics or get a Prince compilation.
Track Discussion:
"Me Against the Music" finds Britney Spears teaming up with Madonna (Madonna, obviously, finding out that her audience has greatly dimished since her heyday and she's willing to do any type of stunt to get in the media again ... lately she fell off a horse). The beat is very very generic and not very merit-filled. The melody is half-way decent, however, and this might have been a decent song if it wasn't for the really horrible production. That's the problem with pop music. They're too busy with the style and not preoccupied enough with the substance.
The horrible song title of "(I Got That) Boom Boom" made me hate this song even before I heard it. This is a hip hop song that doesn't actually make me interested in hip hop. I don't listen to hip hop, and this is a good reason why. It's boring and it's stupid. Britney Spears starts singing something with absolutely no melody whatsoever. Ick. The banjo was a weird instrument choice that's the only real redeeming quality to it. Not what they did with the banjo (they really didn't do anything to it), but just the mere fact that it's present.
"Showdown" is a really drabbingly awful song that's completely unbearable to listen to. The instrumentation, while it's almost interesting in an odd sense, is still plastic. The melody is very stupid and simple. You're much better off listening to some old-school Eurythmis. Not only is it better than this crap, but it's much more emotionally satisfying. It's the same style of music.
"Breathe On Me" is a techno song whose only true redeeming qualities includes the fact that it's a techno song and the beat gets hypnotizing. Fortunately, the melody isn't unbearable. There aren't any hooks in the melody, but at least it's inoffensive.
"Early Mornin'" is almost that modern-pop version of R&B that I don't listen to along with Britney Spears (usually). The melody is a barren hookless wasteland and the instrumentation is nauseating. Seriously, they had so many resources for this album, and they couldn't do anything tasteful with it? Crap to that. The lyrics are awful, too, by the way, but it's not like the other Britney Spears songs had masterful lyrics.
"Toxic" is a word that basically describes this whole freaking album. However, through some unknown force of nature, this song doesn't blow. Well, it's not *good*, but it has a quirky Prince-like quality in the instrumentation. The beat is stupid techno-pop, but it's not horrible overall. The melody lacks real hooks, but this is bearable. For some reason. (Like Madonna before her, the vocal effects simply don't work.)
"Outrageous" that I'm actually listening to this stupid album. And this song is pretty "outrageous," too if I do say so. It's closer to a hip hop song, except the groove is unlistenable and there is no melody. Very very very very gruesome. Its attempt at doing an Indian-style thing is totally ridiculous (i.e. outrageous). This is the reason our era of popular music is so embarrassing and stupid. Well, then again, most eras of popular music was stupid and embarrassing. That's because stupid and embarrassing people keep on breeding.
"Touch of My Hand" is more tolerable this time, although this is still stupid pop music. The instrumentation was misfired in more ways than one, but it's tolerable. The melody is fairly crappy, but we've come to expect that.
"The Hook-Up" is so misfired that it's not even fun to hate. The instrumentation (while trying to have an Indian-pop flavour while not working) is really unbearable. The rap-pop bits in it don't work at all, either. There isn't a melody that's actually worth anything other than nothing. Crap.
"Shadow" is another worthless pop song that, weirdly enough, sounds exactly like an adult contemporary radio song from the 1980's, except it's not even enjoyable in that 1980s ballad type of way. The chorus has some merit to it. The rest of the song has some really horrible instrumentation to it. People who like Britney Spears should find something else. Seriously. Don't let stuff like this become popular.
"Brave New Girl", again, is about the image. It's not about the SONG, it's about Britney Spears who wants to be 'grow'd up' now. She's going Prince again here (which isn't bad in theory; it's just that her producers don't know what Prince was trying to do). The melody isn't the worst thing in the album (i.e. it exists), however, this could have been better by not existing.
"Everytime", again, sounds like a regular old 80s ballad. I seriously don't understand why some people tell me that 80s pop music sounds too 80s! It's exactly the same as this! This is fairly dismal, however, but the instrumentation for once isn't offensive or over-the-top. The melody isn't very good due to the sheer lack of convincing hooks, but I'm not offended by it, as someone who enjoys the finer side of music.
"Me Against the Music (Rischi Rich's Kulcha remix)" is a pointless and totally unneeded remix. Why do they put remixes in the albums when these aren't even reissues? Crud!
SUPERSTAR. PHENOMENON. One of the most infamously famous, infinitely intriguing female entertainers of our time. Britney proves yet again her musical ...More at Buy.com Marketplaces
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