Cons: The music is bad, the lyrics are stupid, and the vocals are appalling.
The Bottom Line: There is no real purpose in Crimes of the Mind. It is an ugly, painful, stupid, and generally nauseating album. Not even Phisheads should enjoy this monstrosity.
lambchops's Full Review: Crimes of the Mind by The Dude Of Life/Phish
If you have listened to a wide variety of albums from many artists there have been a few that have left you saying “What the hell was that?” This is the precise reaction I have every time I (usually accidentally) slip Crimes of the Mind by Dude of Life into the stereo. You may not immediately recognize the Dude’s name and you certainly won’t recognize his music but it is hard to ignore the band which collaborated with him on the release.
The Dude of Life (aka Steve Pollack) attended high school with none other than Trey Anastasio. The two struck up a friendship and stayed close even as Phish struck musical gold. The Dude is a New York-based singer-songwriter whose style is definitely congruent with that of Phish. It is a languid, jam-band style fusion of folk and hippie rock. His connection to the popular aforementioned band and their collaboration is certainly what landed Pollack a record deal with Elektra which helped him to release his 1994 debut Crimes of the Mind. Considering the fact that I’m only mildly amused by Phish, I am not the Dude’s intended audience. Nonetheless this eleven-track disc crash landed in my collection.
Pollack is both the singer and songwriter on Crimes of the Mind and Phish act as co-producers and instrumentalists with Anastasio tossing in the occasional vocal. Aside from my lack of appreciation for Phish as a band, I have major issues with this album. It holds no value really to fans of Phish nor does it hold up well to any amount of scrutiny. The songs are at their very best tired, the arrangements are boring, and the sound is unremarkable. Unfortunately most of the time those words aren’t even quite appropriate—Crimes of the Mind is the musical equivalent of an internet pop up ad. It is unnecessary and annoying.
I am completely aware that the Dude of Life’s Crimes of the Mind is not a Phish album. That said I am also aware that without that connection the album wouldn’t have gotten a major label deal nor would it have sold any copies to speak of. It is intended to primarily appeal to Phisheads. It is unlikely that anybody else would have purchased this stinker. The album kicks off with the horrifying Dahlia. It is clear that Pollack intends his music to be quirky and tell a story. Unfortunately his voice is grating, nasally, and impossible to digest. The music itself is equally troubling—from the guitar solos to the keys and chaotic percussion. It makes no sense artistically or emotionally. I honestly really could care less if they are sucking cherry Charms Blow Pops (I’m serious here—this line is actually pulled out of the song and repeated).
The hilarious nonsensical lyrics and arrangements continue through Family Picture (which probably features the least troubling performance of the whole album). Self however is outstandingly bad. Pollack barely sings—it’s more like a small animal grunting. The repeated line in the song, I don’t care about anybody except myself, is obvious enough. He has apparently purposefully subject the audience to these tragic musical examples.
At first, I must admit I’m humored by just how bad Crimes of the Mind is. However, as the album wears out so does my patience. Bitchin' Again is so awful it is offensive. We hear what is obviously supposed to be a humorous story about Pollock’s nagging girlfriend (or is it wife) who wants flowers, money, her family room cleaned, and out of their crappy apartment. There is no point to the song, no emotion attached, and no real humor infused. Even worse is the fact that the Dude’s vocals are tinny and obnoxious and his “girlfriend’s” are painfully atonal. There is nothing positive to say about anything on this album aside from the fact that it mercifully comes to an end after King of Nothing comes to an end. Nothing here is worth hearing—not Lucy in the Subway, TV Show or Revolution’s Over.
I do suspect that there is some good work on the guitars or drums now and again, but in all honesty all those things are obscured by the bad writing and horrible vocals. In all, I hesitate to refer to Pollock as any kind of musical person. If this album is any example of the horrors he has in store for listeners, then it would be best advised to avoid anything that the fellow dubbed Dude of Life has ever recorded. Maybe I’m not the intended audience, maybe I’m not enough of a Phishead, and maybe I’m not open minded enough. However had this record been anything close to organize, decent, and musical none of that would really matter.
Seriously folks—avoid Crimes of the Mind. I thought it was out of print, but I was dismayed to find that it is still widely available for approximately $16.97 more than it is worth. Maybe, just maybe, if you find a lint-and-gum-covered penny in the depths of your jacket pocket and you coincidentally run into the album on sale for that exact price it might be worth picking up just for comic relief. However, emphasis should still be placed on the “maybe” in that suggestion.
Rating: 1/5 stars (because I can’t go any lower)
Track Listing:
01. Dahlia
02. Family Picture
03. Self
04. Crimes of the Mind
05. Bitchin' Again
06. TV Show
07. Trials and Tribulations
08. Lucy in the Subway
09. Ordinary Day
10. Revolution’s Over
11. King of Nothing
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