Mercedes-Benz has done it again for the 2001 model year. The newest product in the CLK-Class, the elegant CLK55 AMG, outshines previous models in every aspect. Essentially, the CLK55 AMG makes any other CLK model about as worthless as a '77 Ford Pinto.

The Mercedes-Benz CLK55 AMG offers nearly every CLK option as standard equipment. This standard equipment includes 2-tone leather upholstery, black birdseye maple wood trim, heated seats, Xenon high intensity discharge headlamps, roof-mounted disposable martini glass dispensers, a Swedish-made high-speed vibrating seat cushion, and 6 inch thick glass floorboards. Unlike the '77 Ford Pinto, the CLK55 AMG does not shake violently at speeds over 68 MPH.

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The CLK55 AMG also features a powerful 5.4 liter V8 boasting 342 horsepower and 376 lb.-ft. of torque. It is coupled to an electronically controlled 5-speed automatic transmission. All CLK models are equipped with Automatic Slip Control and the Electronic Stability Program. Side impact air bags are also standard as well as a mint-flavored aromatherapy interior venilation system. Faux-wood side-panels are available to customers that would like their CLK55 AMG to look more like a '77 Ford Pinto... but why on Earth would anyone in their right mind want that?


Options:

Options on all models include two Designo Packages and the COMAND Navigational System, as well as ultra-low-frequency sound weaponry and an in-dash sterilizing autoclave.

Outstanding features found on no other automobile:

Other standard features found on this exciting new CLK are headlights, windshield wipers, armrests, door locks, brakes, digital clock, cup holders, floor mats, odometer, and tailpipe. These would appear to be standard features found on practically any car, but the difference with the CLK features is that each of these were woven by Japanese silk-worms fed on a diet of pure platinum shavings.

The Mercedes company wants to put you in a 2001 model!

Mercedes wants you to know what an embarrassment your old CLK is to both you and the Mercedes name!

If you own one of the older CLK models, you may bring it back to your local Mercedes-Benz dealer. You will not be given any trade-in credit, but the dealer will offer to repaint your car "diaper-pudding" orange so that it may more resemble a '77 Ford Pinto. The dealers will also provide you with a "PINTO" hood ornament to replace the Mercedes' "peace sign" and a bumper sticker that says "Hit Me and We Blow Up Together.'"

Mercedes is so proud of its new CLK55 AMG that it doesn't even feel that older CLK models should be held in the same class. It is only through total conversion of 2000 and older CLK models to '77 Pintos that Mercedes' aims of providing its clients with an elite driving experience will be achieved. Mercedes urges all drivers of outdated CLK models to have their cars Pinto-ized at once before buying their new 2001 models.
Amount Paid (US$): 50000
Condition: New
Model Year: 2001
Model and Options: auto