Turkmenistan Airlines, flying disco the great
Written: Apr 19 '04
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Western aircraft, local handicrafts, nice meal and free vodka
Cons: Hard to book, aircraft getting tatty inside, mediocre service
The Bottom Line: OK for cheap tickets if you can get them!
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| vodkaboy's Full Review: Turkmenistan Airlines |
Turkmenistan Airlines is the national carrier of, you guessed it, Turkmenistan. The country is located in Central Asia, on the eastern edge of the Caspian Sea, south of Uzbekistan and north of Iran and Afghnistan.
The airline is officially known as "Turkmen Howayollari, the State Aviation department of Turkmenistan named after President Sapamurat Turkmenbashi the great". But then, in Turkmenistan, many things are named after Sapamurat Turkmenbashi the Great, ranging from dictionaries to days of the week and months of the year (January is officially "Turkmenbashi" now). Most people call it "Turkmenistan Airlines" and most people know what you mean!
Although they obviously fly to and from Turkmenistan, a large part of their business comes from taking people between UK and India, via Turkmenistan of course. They fly twice weekly to London and 3 or 4 times weekly to Birmingham. The flights go to Ashgabad, Turkmenistan, then on to Delhi or Amritsar, so this is obviously a cheap and convenient way of getting between UK and India.
That is, if you can book. In Turkmenistan, there are few travel agents; most people book by going to Turkmenistan Airlines' office, queing at about five queues on two different floors to book, get an invoice, pay, get a receipt and get a ticket. Overseas, they are handled by representative travel agents who sometimes keep a low profile.
I flew with Turkmenistan Airlines between Ashgabad and Moscow several times in 1998 and 1999, then not for a few years until March 2004 when I flew between Ashgabad and Abu Dhabi. Someone else sorted out my ticket!
Check In
I checked in at the CIP lounge in Ashgabad airport. The CIP (Commercially Important Person) lounge is available to anyone willing to part with $25 to avoid some of the hassle you can get in the main terminal, particularly from Customs and especially if you are taking out anything questionable such as a carpet, paining, mobile phone, suitcase etc etc.
If you want to use the CIP lounge, you pay your $25 to the counter and hand over your ticket and passport. You get a receipt (for $20) and a boarding pass, then they take your passport off to Immigration. You get it back when they call the flight for boarding.
Boarding
We walked out of the terminal along the pier then down to a waiting bus. The airport is quite new and has several piers built out of the terminal, ready for the air bridges to be installed, but they never were (rumour has it that they needed the money to complete another monument to "The Great"). So we walked out onto the pier, then down a flight of stairs to a waiting minibus which whisked us out to the Boeing 757 aircraft.
The plane looked clean and sparkling on the outside, but as we boarded through the second door, into the front of the economy cabin, the appearance changed. Although the flight was starting here in Ashgabad, the cabin looked well flown in and used and it was already untidy.
I turned left and headed towards my seat in Business Class. A stewardess checked my boarding pass to be sure I was allowed into the Business cabin. A good thing, there was already a debate going; a party of five people had sat in Business and it seemed only two or three had Business class tickets. Much checking of boarding cards and tickets before one of the party said, "Oh, only we three are in Business, these two people are in economy." That problem resolved, we all took our seats and the plane pushed back about five minutes late.
Seat and Cabin
The aircraft was a Boeing 757, with economy seats three either side of the central aisle. In Business class the seats were upholstered with leather and were two either side of the aisle, so there considerably more space.
My seat was 1A, right in front. The seat was reasonably comfortable but not especially so. Later, when I reclined it, the top went back a few inches allowing me some extra relaxation, but both the cushions were quite flat so really it was not particularly comfortable.
Overhead the lockers were a good size but the first one on either side was labelled "Magazines"; when I opened it there were no magazines but there was a shelf for periodicals running along half way up the locker, ensuring that no bags could go in. The next locker on either side contained emergency equipment - a fire exinguisher, smoke hood and some other stuff. I managed to put my bags overhead above row three.
Looking around, the cabin was reasonably clean but showed signs of wear and tear. The carpet was looking worn, there were scuff marks on the walls, even the seats looked a bit tatty. There was a TV screen that was supposed to hang from the ceiling but was stuck half way out. And in economy, from what I saw, it was worse.
At the front of the cabin, in a gilded frame, was a photograph of Sapamurat Turkmenbashi The Great.
In Flight
Once everyone was on board there was an announcement welcoming us all on board this flight operated by the state enterprise named after Sapamurat Turkmenbashi the Great. We were then offered a pre take-off drink, a choice of water or juice or local champagne.
After take-off the crew distributed cushions (why they were not available before is beyond me). They were small but very pretty, covered in a local patterned cloth, each one different (probably hand made). There were no newspapers or magazines available, not even an airline magazine.
About 40 minutes into the flight there was finally we were offered a drink, followed by a meal.
The meal was actually quite good. The starter was red caviar with blini (small pancakes). This was followed by a plate of cold meats, a salad, a hot dish consisting of beef stew and buckwheat, and bakhlava (pastries sweetened with honey) for desert. This was accompanied by a loaf of Turkmen bread, which was like a large burger bun. The food was okay but there was no dressing for the salad so it was a bit dry and the meat in the stew was half fat, though it all tasted good enough and it would be a large man who felt hungry afterwards.
Once the meal was served they turned on the disco. Aargh. I remembered this from previous flights - there seems to be a view that food and relaxation is best done to a background of music, so the TVs are used to show music videos, the sound for which is not limited to those with headsets - it is broadcast through the PA. So as they play non-stop music videos, the entire aircraft can listen. There is no escape, it is like a flying night club.
At least they waited until an hour into the three hour flight.
Service
The cabin crew were neither particularly efficient nor friendly, though they weren't too bad. One of the stewardesses was cheerful and pleasant, the other seemed to be going through the motions and half asleep at it.
Taking 40 minutes to serve a round of drinks to cabin of 12 people is not a sign of efficiency or professionalism, in my books, though at least her colleageue smiled while dishing out the gristle in gravy.
Once the meal was cleared away we were left alone with MTV Russia until the engines throttled back, we started to lose altitude and the seatbelt signs came on
Arrival
We arrived in Abu Dhabi just about on time. The familiar sounds of mobile phones ringing and message alerts started as we turned of the runway (at least they waited that long) and we headed towards the terminal.
Summary
Ok for a flight of 3 to 4 hours, and not bad in busines class. The ticket booking process is made unnecessarily difficult, and they really could do with a refresh of the cabins. Overall, not bad, but there are others offering better service at similar prices.
Recommended:
Yes
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