Marvin Makes Kids Cry
Written: May 14 '00
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Product Rating:
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Pros: absolutely none
Cons: complete waste of money
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| pluckyduck's Full Review: Marvins Magic Drawing Board |
I'm mad. I'm plain, flat-out, outright mad. People can get away with messing with me. I'm pretty much a pushover. But don’t mess with my husband, and especially don't mess with my kids.
My son Adam is 6 years old. He's bright, sweet and really earnest. Though his soul is clearly old, he hasn't been knocked around in this lifetime enough to know that there are Evil People lurking about, people who don't have his best interests at heart, people who don't mind making a kid cry with disappointment.
Marvin is one of those Evil People, and QVC who markets his products through Q direct is evil too, at least by association.
Marvin's Magical Drawing Board
My story starts with Marvin's Magical Drawing Board. My son, Dan, who is 8, was fascinated by the commercial. Dan has certain learning issues, so Adam, his younger brother, often functions as his voice and his protector.
The commercial for Marvin's Magical Drawing Board makes the product look incredible: Colorful and fun, it's easy to make picture after picture on this magic drawing board. Make a cool picture with a couple swipes of the stylus; make it magically disappear with another swipe. Don't worry about losing your crayons or markers again. Don't worry about making a mess. Marvin's Magical Drawing Board, for just $19.99 plus shipping and handling, will provide a lifetime of fun. (I don't remember exactly how the commercial went. I may be overstating the actual claim made by the manufacturer, but I'm not overstating the impression it left on my children.)
Dan kept asking for Marvin's Magical Drawing Board. I was skeptical of the value, especially since it reminded me of a loser toy I had when I was a kid, and tried to redirect him from wanting the toy. Adam took up Dan's case, and decided he wanted to spend his own money to buy it for Dan.
What could I say? $20.00 came out of Adam's savings to buy Marvin's Magical Drawing Board for Dan. Dad and I forked over the extra $7.95, or whatever, for shipping and handling.
Back to the drawing board
The toy that arrived bore little resemblance to the toy feted in the commercial. It was a cheap piece of plastic with a piece of heavy duty Saran Wrap on top, and thick, icky black liquid in between. In order to make a picture, you had to take the stylus, apply a lot of pressure, and move the icky black liquid around. When the black liquid is moved, the multi-colored surface underneath shows through, and that makes your "picture".
Dan played with it about 15 minutes. Neither he nor Adam could make any actual pictures with it. The most they could manage was scrapes in the liquid -- they just didn't have the finger strength to really move the sludge. I had to do any "erasing" for them since moving enough of the black stuff back over the colored surface took more strength and precision than they had.
After about 20 minutes, the stylus was lost and we just let that be that. Adam spent $20.00 for nothing. I didn't push the consumer lesson (as I should have) because I didn't want to hurt Adam's feelings. He was trying to do something good for his brother.
Enter Marvin's Magic Made Easy
Apparently "Marvin's Magic Made Easy" is another Magical Commercial by Marvin. I never caught the commercial, but Adam, Dan, and Dad did. Adam caught the commercial quite a few times. (Remind me to disconnect all television channels except PBS.)
Adam has a scientific, technical mind, and magic tricks are just his cup of tea. He wants to know "how" everything is done. The one element I heard about over and over was the floating ball. "Marvin's Magic Made Easy has a floating ball, a magic wand, a real magician's hat. A floating ball, Mom. How do they do that? How do they make the ball float?" Again, we tried to distract, deflect and dissuade Adam from his love affair with Marvin's commercials.
Dad and I broke the morning Adam woke up reciting the 800# that you call to order the kit. "I remember the number, Mom, will you call it? I'll use my own money. It's 1-800-XXX-XXXX" Jumpin' jujubees, the kid is going to have my Visa number memorized if I don't watch out. Forget that, the kid is going to have his own Visa number soon if I don’t watch out.
Adam dug his bank out and Dad and Adam went off to the phone. Dad took care of the shipping and handling, a hefty $9.95, and Adam handed over the $19.95 for the product itself. Order placed, we explained delivery time to Adam, a few times. After a day or two of constant questions, we had to make a countdown on the calendar to help him keep track of "one to two weeks for delivery".
Marvin makes the kid cry
A week later, the postman arrived with Adam's package. I use the word "package" loosely, because it was actually a large manila envelope. You might be asking "How does a floating ball fit in an envelope?" It doesn't. Neither does a top hat. A magic wand could fit, if they tried to put one in, but they didn't.
Here's what my Adam got for a grand total of $31.10: A 50 page pamphlet with descriptions of magic tricks in small print and 2 decks of ordinary looking cards. That's it. That's all. Nothing else.
Adam's bottom lip started quivering, his eyes filled up and then the tears let loose. "Where's the ball?" he asked. "Where's the ball? I wanted to know how it floats."
A lesson in consumerism
I didn't know where the ball was, but I did know where Adam's money was. I had him sit with me while I called the 800# on the packing slip. The number was for Q direct, a division of QVC which is responsible for selling this rip-off to the kids of America. I spoke with a very nice, grandmotherly customer service representative who was all too happy to refund our money. She told me they've had quite a few complaints about the product, and apologized for making my son cry. She sounded like she wanted to crawl under her desk.
I explained to Adam that when you feel someone has taken advantage of you, you must never be embarrassed or intimidated. Speak up for yourself!
I wanted Adam to see what $31.10 should have bought, so he could get a feel for the value of that amount of money. Dad and I took Adam to Zany Brainy (great kid's learning toy store!) and helped him buy, for the same amount of money, a box of magic tricks as large as Adam is.
Not only does the new purchase have a book, and a video and a magic wand, and a magician's table, and other cool stuff, it has quite a few balls. Adam and Dad are working on making one float right now.
I'm still mad though, and I don't think that I'm stopping with the refund of my money and my epinion. I make my living in direct marketing, business to business. I know how products are chosen for placement in catalogs and DRTV (direct TV commercial response). There are people in suits making a lot of money at QVC who made a considered decision to produce a commercial that is outright deceptive to children, and to deliver a product that is insulting for the purchase price paid.
They made my kid cry. I don't think I should let it go.
Recommended:
No
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Epinions.com ID:
pluckyduck
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Member: Andrea Barton Gurney
Location: Almost Philadelphia
Reviews written: 74
Trusted by: 296 members
About Me:
Gone fishing for awhile.
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