This is the quintessential labor of love epinion. Even though 277 reviews on the product appear on this site, I still want to write about my favorite beer.
I'll be very honest with you. I probably have between 4 and 7 Guinness bottles each and every week. When I'm out at any number of Chicago clubs and pubs, I order a tall heady pint of the good stuff. I don't care if I'm at the hippest, happeningest, punkest, trendiest place in the city. I don't care if I'm lounging on a club couch or in the crappiest hole-in-the wall joint in town. I don't care if I'm in the solitude of my own home getting ready to go out or in sweats.
I order Guinness.
If it's not on tap, I'll reluctantly get a Tangueray and tonic. But many an acquaintance has raised an eyebrow in disbelief that little old 105 lb. me drinks Guinness. I shudder to think of the number of times I've formed a shamrock in the head with the last bit of pour. And at the other designs I've made after a few too many.
My palette is so accustomed to this velvety stout, Harp and Bass taste like Busch to me. I love it, love it, love it. I want the T-shirts and the kitschy posters with penguins and people drinking it. I endured Chicago's South Side St. Patty's Day Parade so that I could have an excuse to drink it all day long, from 10 a.m. onward at places like Cork and Kerry. I even drank it in a pub in Ireland!
O.k. Now that my shameless confessions are out of the way, I guess I should do the review part of this review.
What is a pint of Guinness stout? Why, it's a loaf of bread and lot of love in each and every pint. Beers seem to have gotten sweeter and sweeter over the past century (and I know because I'm about 400 years old), but Guinness has stayed the same. Beer shouldn't taste like candy. And even though I like it, beer really shouldn't taste like that Sierra Nevada Pale Ale stuff either. Beer should, quite simply, taste like Guinness. Mix it with cider, or Bass for a Black and Tan if you must. Me, I'll have my Guinness just as she comes. In her sleek dark brown bottle or in a pint glass. But never - NEVER IN A CAN!. I forgive Guinness for this mistake, but am anxiously awaiting their realization that Guinness in a can (or bottle for that matter!) with a stupid little ball in it is a travesty to the product and an insult to the drinker.
Arthur Guinness, the Albert Einstein of Brewers
From the start, Guinness was a gift from the heavens. Arthur Guinness was born in 1725 in County Kildare. His father brewed for his Godfather, a bishop who left Arthur with enough money in his will to go into brewing and eventually start a brewery of his own. He was lucky enough to secure land for brewing at St. James Gate in Dublin which included water rights in the lease, though he literally had to fight a gang opposed to those tax-free water rights in order to keep the water - and the beer - flowing. In spite of stiff competition from other brews being imported to Dublin and increased development of the St. James Gate site (now located within walking distance to Trinity University and the Dublin equivalent of New York City's 5th Avenue), Arthur Guinness perfected his porter and the Guinness we know and love today was born.
I Only Drink Guinness Extra Stout
This is the original. This is the one. It is thick, velvety, toasted, filling, Irish. As an Irish lass I can't fathom how so many of us (my parents included) became alcoholics because even though we covet our Guinness, you truly don't need more than one or two. On occasion I've had three, but four? Well, maybe once or twice.
Again, I only drink it from the bottle (without the dang ball) or the tap. And it is heaven.
Signature Brewing Process and Ingredients Roasted barley at higher temperatures
Water from the springs in the Wicklow Mountains (also known as St. Jame's wells)
Female hops now imported from Germany, Austria, the USA and the UK
Yeast cultures derived from Arthur's original batch - so sacred that some are kept under lock and key in various locations so as to protect it should the brewery be lost
A Joke for the Pub After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."
The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser."
The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors."
He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke."
The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I.
And if you're still not convinced . . .
Think of all good things Guinness. There's Sir Alec Guinness, and even the Guinness Book of World Records!
In my humble opinion, just as every new driver should learn with a stick, every beer drinker should tame the Guinness. It's worth every penny of the $7.99 it costs for a six pack. Now if only they carried 12 and 24 packs at my liquor store . . .
Thanks for the opportunity to attempt to put my love for Guinness in words.
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