sweetcece's Full Review: Ed Wheat and Gloria Okes Perkins - First Years of ...
Whether you’re planning your first marriage or your fifth, I believe there are expectations that each one of us has in our hearts to make our marriage be the one that lasts forever. After all, with divorce so rampant, would we really plan for a marriage to end in divorce from the very beginning? I think not!
However, I have come to the belief that most individuals are woefully ignorant about what marriage truly entails and what can be done by the individuals within that covenant relationship to have it last truly forever.
Because my first marriage was not the one that lasted forever, I am always looking for two things – First, I am looking for Mr. Right. Second, I am looking for how to make a relationship with Mr. Right work in such a manner that it could last forever.
Since my last serious romantic relationship ended with the death of my beloved before we were married, that really has caused my heart a lot of aching and grieving. However, I really would like to love a man that way again and finally have it culminate in that commitment to marriage till death do us part.
The question though of how to make it work through the trials of it all bears heavily on my mind though. And even though Clair Huxtable makes jokes to her younger sister about marriage books on The Cosby Show, I believe there is a great validity in reading such books in order to learn ways to communicate and apply loving principles.
While I have read many books, I believe that one of the best ones that really applies these principles best is The First Years of Forever by Ed Wheat, M.D. with Gloria Okes Perkins.
The First Years of Forever
The First Years of Forever is a book that can be applied to a person entering their first marriage or entering their fifth. Written in easy to understand language, it applies principles from the Holy Bible as the reference to how to have a successful marriage. Now, I know that will probably turn a great many individuals off, but I really hope that even with that knowledge that you will take a look at this book because it is unlike any other Christian marriage book I have read.
Major chapters of The First Years of Forever that impressed me included the following:
The Feelings of Love: Guarding Your Treasure
The ABC’s of Forever: Living by the Facts of Love
Faithfulness: The First Essential
Forgiveness: The Second Essential
Communicating: Your Lifeline in Marriage
The Door Marked Private: Secrets of Sexual Fulfillment
The ABC’s of Never: Warning Signals
How to Love Your Wife: The Husband’s Handbook
How to Love Your Husband: The Wife’s Handbook
“Forever”
Sections of The First Years of Forever that Impressed Me
Even though I have read many very detailed relationship books, there were several sections within The First Years of Forever that impressed me. These included the following:
Clear Definitions of What Makes Marriage Work
While I am sure that most of us have probably read books that have told us that faithfulness, forgiveness, and communication are those things that make marriages work, there’s a different twist with their presentation in this book. I felt as though I was able to understand the situations from both a male and female point of view by reading these chapters. This gave me a better observation of what may initiate problems on my end of the relationship in order to prevent them from escalating. In addition, I believe that this book attracts the male reader by showing equal factors of relationship failure and not blaming the problem one the husband as with many books.
Incredibly Detailed Information About Sexual Expression In Marriage
One of the things that really blew me away with The First Years of Forever is the details that are given describing the sexual relationship between men and women. This includes the types of responses from both sexes, and the interaction between both of them during their first sexual encounter.
Within these chapters are excellent information concerning sexual intercourse between a man and woman who is still a virgin, and how care needs to be given to help stretch out the hymen in order to have sexual pleasure. Overall, I have to say that even though I have been sexually experienced through my own marriage, it was very appealing to have someone write out information concerning sexual intercourse and virginity. This information was presented in such a way that a couple could have a very mature understanding about the physical aspects of it all and the importance of making that experience pleasant instead of painful.
The Concept of Revirgination
Another section of The First Years of Forever that really appealed to me was the sections concerning second or more marriages and having them be as your “first” encounter. I was impressed with the details that both authors gave to this subject and the advice that was given to the reader concerning past sexual experiences and marriage. This gave me a means to understand how to deal with this type of situation in my future marriage so that it does not become a source of pain or hostility with my future mate (and vice versa)
The Concept of Forever
Finally, the concept of the forever factor of marriage and of even life is discussed at great length. References for life after death and the love that will be shared not only with husband and wife but with others is explained with references of scripture.
I found this section fascinating because of the points that it makes concerning how life will be with our beloved after we enter eternity. It gives serious message though too that our life of forever love though should begin at our level of love on earth.
Deficits?
Personally, I find that the information contained with The First Years of Forever to be very relevant and appealing. If there is a deficit to this book, it is that it assumes that both individuals will be Christians when reading it, and does not give very good alternatives to those who are “unequally yoked” (a believer married to a non-believer). While examples are given to Christian women who may be married to non-Christian man (or non-practicing Christian men), there is no information given to a man on how to deal with living and loving a non-believing woman.
Overall Recommendation
Personally, I believe the information that is contained with The First Years of Forever can best be applied by two individuals who are practicing believers in Christianity. I say this because I believe that there are just too many strong human nature elements that can destroy and damage relationships that are not controllable by man alone. I believe that only with a relationship with Jesus Christ, can you actually apply and live out all of the qualities that are set forth in this book. If you are not a follower and believer in the Christian life though, I believe you will find the ideals appealing. However, I really believe that it will be rather difficult for an unbeliever to truly apply them in full effect because of the disciplined nature required for this type of relationship.
However, since this is what I want in my life (a relationship with a practicing Christian man), then I believe that The First Years of Forever is a book that “works” for me and that will work for the person I eventually marry. The principles are based on Godly love and I believe that is what is the basis for what a marriage should be founded on in the first place.
Therefore, I highly recommend the purchase of The First Years of Forever for individuals who are truly looking for a marriage that will literally last forever.
Nearly half of all serious maritial problems develop in the first two years of marriage. The causes? Overconfidence, poor preparation, unrealistic exp...More at Christianbook.com
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